Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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