foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
