Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
