talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Success! We fucked roommates!
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize