What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
