Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize