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• (785): View more from Kansas

  Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.

  Fav 26 4147 1199

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• (925): View more from California

  If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.

  Fav 22 3273 1046

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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...

  Fav 51 5422 860

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• (415): View more from California

  My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.

  Fav 28 1415 5483

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  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears

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• (727): View more from Florida

  And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again

  Fav 14 2452 1010

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.

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• 

  19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.

  (415): View more from California

  I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?

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• (727): View more from Florida

  My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have

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• (585): View more from New York

  That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS

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