Say something about gay babies.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness