your room smells of hookers.
And success
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
