Ambien. No doubt about it.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.