After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize