I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He felt like a one man threesome
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
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the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
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The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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