do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
