Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
