hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
