My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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