Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
