dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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