i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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