This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
