my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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