Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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