Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
