My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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