I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
