hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
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