People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
