How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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