That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
