You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
