maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
