So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
