Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
