Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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