I think I just saw someone hide a body.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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