Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
