he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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