did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
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I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
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I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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