roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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