wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize