Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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