nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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