You're earring is so big in my mouth
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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