My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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