Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
