Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
operation have a gay friend backfired
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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