Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
