I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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