i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
