Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
