it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
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