I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
