so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
only if we run a train.
done.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
