If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
