i just wanna soil my oats bro
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
