Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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