therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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