Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
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Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
She needs sedatives and a leash
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Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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