I can't breathe out the right side of my face
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize