i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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