theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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