Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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