I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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