Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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