Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
