My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
