Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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