And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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