i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
