my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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