you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
