I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
