I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
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