It's Friday. Sex?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize