We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
The Olympian is in my bed
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